I wanted to share some of the spiritual insight that I gained at EFY that I mentioned in my last post. I won't get into too much detail, since it is pretty personal. But I hope that maybe this can also touch someone else the way it touched me.
As I've done every week thus far, I went into the week with questions that I wanted answered and I have definitely been getting some answers. It's been great. But this week, Brother Chidester (our session director) challenged the counselors in our fireside Sunday night to write down our questions. So I did. In generic terms, the questions were about what to do with my life, with dating, and with certain relationships. I gained insight and revelation throughout the week about them. But Thursday night is when it really hit me and I felt like the heavens opened for me in regards to a few of my questions.
Thursday is the extra spiritual day at EFY. We're all in our church clothes and have young men and young women activities. This year, we get to go over The Living Christ in our counselor groups, as well as having a separate YM/YW morningside devotionals by the session directors. There's lunch and then a variety show, but the evening is when it gets really spiritual. There is a wonderful musical program and then a session director fireside and then company testimony meetings. I loved hearing Brother Chidester throughout the week, but as he spoke at that fireside, he changed slightly and his message seemed to be much more powerful and more much forceful. And what he said hit me really hard. He talked the story about the woman in Mark 5 being healed of the issue of blood. He talked about how Christ is the only one who can heal us, and we all need to be healed. As he said that, I realized how much pain I'm still carrying in regards to certain issues and I how need to accept that Christ can and will heal me if I let Him. I was definitely touched by that, but he then shared a story that I'd like to share, as it also touched me deeply. I had heard the story before, but I think I was more open to it as I was searching for some answers.
(Ok. I tried writing it in my own words, but it wasn't super powerful. I copied and pasted it from here. I don't know how powerful it is even with this, but I know it's better than me trying to tell it. Hope that's ok. I know it may be a bit cheesy to some, but I hope you can get something out of it if you read it in the right spirit.)
The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.
"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"
Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."
"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."
"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.
As Brother Chidester spoke, I knew exactly what my dime-store necklaces were. As recorded in my journal from that night, a couple of my necklaces are fear of what it will take and fear that my pain can't be healed. Another necklace is made up of my personal plans and what I think should be happening in my life. But these things are SO hard for me to give up. I like my plan. I still want to do my plan. And the fear is also hard to give up. I feel in control with it (which sounds contradictory, but humans don't always make sense). And I'm afraid there will be even more fear if I give up my necklaces. But why wouldn't I give up those plans and stop worrying, if I know that there are genuine pearls still waiting?
What was interesting, as I woke up on Friday, I had ANOTHER insight to a dime-store necklace in my life. And I think that was the hardest one to accept. I don't really have to change anything to give it up. It's just acceptance. However, acceptance can be incredibly hard. But I know that if I can give up this necklace, then great things are in store. But as I hold on to the cheap necklace, I can't accept the great things that are coming. It's hard.
I'm sorry this is vague in regards to what my personal take-away was. But it is kind of personal and I am still trying to figure out where to go from here. But I encourage you to think about your own dime-store necklaces. What's holding you back?
Saturday, June 30, 2012
EFY- Salt Lake City 2
Another week of EFY down. This summer is seriously flying by with all these weeks of EFY! And right now, I basically just don't want EFY to end. Because then I'm going to have to grow up and figure out what I'm really doing with my life. Can't I just be an EFY counselor forever? :P
I was in Salt Lake again this week, but this time I was with the 14-15 year-olds. I had a blast. And I was in a much better mood this week, so I felt like I was a much more effective counselor. I also had a GREAT Thursday night "payoff", which was made even better after having a bit of a rough Thursday afternoon. The payoff? Every single one of our kids bore their testimony during testimony meeting. I wasn't expecting that at all, but it was a really neat thing. The Spirit was so strong and I knew that I had helped to make at least a small difference in their lives.
This week was especially nice because our company was just made up of two counselor groups- my 10 girls, and then my co-counselor David's 10 guys. Having an exact amount of guys and girls was so awesome, in my opinion. And David was an absolute rock star, especially since I was on musical program duty this week, which meant I was helping with that during lunch and free time. So David had to make sure both his guys and my girls were good during those times without me and herd them around by himself. I felt like David and I were really united. We also just had a blast... especially when we showed our participants pick-up lines and moves during games night. They then started spreading rumors that I was in love with David, but that he was in love with another counselor. This provided many opportunities for outrageous flirting in front of our kids to see their reactions. Hilarious. Also hilarious... me not being able to dance much at all, but whenever I did something at the dance, I would see at least 2-3 kids start doing what I'm doing. Love it.
Me and David
Our company at games night. (The kids decided our company name to be "One and Only", based on James 17:3.)
This week also provided a lot of personal insight and revelation for me. But that'll have to be another post.
After the session, a few of us counselors went to City Creek, which was cool, since I'd never been there before. (Sorry... no pictures to prove it.) But we were all pretty exhausted, so we didn't stay too long. I'll have to go back another time when I have more energy.
I'm definitely going to miss being at EFY next week. It's definitely become a part of me, even after just three weeks. I love those kids and the counselors that I work with. But it'll be good to catch up on some much-needed sleep and hang out with friends that I haven't really been able to hang out with. Life is good.
I was in Salt Lake again this week, but this time I was with the 14-15 year-olds. I had a blast. And I was in a much better mood this week, so I felt like I was a much more effective counselor. I also had a GREAT Thursday night "payoff", which was made even better after having a bit of a rough Thursday afternoon. The payoff? Every single one of our kids bore their testimony during testimony meeting. I wasn't expecting that at all, but it was a really neat thing. The Spirit was so strong and I knew that I had helped to make at least a small difference in their lives.
This week was especially nice because our company was just made up of two counselor groups- my 10 girls, and then my co-counselor David's 10 guys. Having an exact amount of guys and girls was so awesome, in my opinion. And David was an absolute rock star, especially since I was on musical program duty this week, which meant I was helping with that during lunch and free time. So David had to make sure both his guys and my girls were good during those times without me and herd them around by himself. I felt like David and I were really united. We also just had a blast... especially when we showed our participants pick-up lines and moves during games night. They then started spreading rumors that I was in love with David, but that he was in love with another counselor. This provided many opportunities for outrageous flirting in front of our kids to see their reactions. Hilarious. Also hilarious... me not being able to dance much at all, but whenever I did something at the dance, I would see at least 2-3 kids start doing what I'm doing. Love it.
This week also provided a lot of personal insight and revelation for me. But that'll have to be another post.
After the session, a few of us counselors went to City Creek, which was cool, since I'd never been there before. (Sorry... no pictures to prove it.) But we were all pretty exhausted, so we didn't stay too long. I'll have to go back another time when I have more energy.
I'm definitely going to miss being at EFY next week. It's definitely become a part of me, even after just three weeks. I love those kids and the counselors that I work with. But it'll be good to catch up on some much-needed sleep and hang out with friends that I haven't really been able to hang out with. Life is good.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
EFY- Salt Lake City 1
Contrary to popular belief, being an EFY counselor is not all sunshine and roses. And this week was especially hard.
This week, I was at the University of Utah. (I felt slightly like a traitor with the U lanyard I had, but the EFY lanyard wasn't sturdy at all.) But that wasn't the hard part.
What did make it hard? There's no need to go into a ton of details, but I'll give the basics.
First off, I was having some personal stuff going on that wasn't very fun to deal with. So I didn't really deal with it (not super effective, either).
Secondly, I just wasn't feeling like a good counselor. I felt that way the week before on Monday, but then I got in the groove of things and felt like a decent counselor by Wednesday. This week, I felt okay on Monday, but I was feeling awful by Wednesday.
And finally, everything was compounded by the fact that I was tired from EFY the week before. I wasn't able to get the Saturday nap like I had planned, so I didn't start off super rested. And in case you didn't know, when I'm tired, I'm overly emotional. That's fun.
The whole week, I was so desperately hoping for the Thursday night payoff. At EFY, Thursday is the more "spiritual day" and Thursday night is testimony meeting. As a counselor, it's so nice to partake of the Spirit there and realize that maybe you did help to make a difference in the lives of your kids in helping them become at least a little bit closer to Christ. But Thursday was by far the hardest day for me (in fact, I had two mini-breakdowns on Thursday, one of which my BC got to witness). I truly felt like I had failed as a counselor and hadn't made an ounce of difference in anybody's life, except maybe my own.
But I really don't want this to be a downer post. I liked my counselor group and our company (Nothing Wavering, from James 1:5-6). It was fun being with the "older kids" (16-18 year olds). And I think overall, they had a good time. I definitely learned a lot from this week that I really hope I can continue to apply to my life. I know that at least I am closer to Christ and my own testimony has grown. I know that I learned some things that will help me in the future as I continue to work with youth and hopefully later on as a mother. And I think instead of the Thursday night payoff, I had the Friday night payoff. On Friday, I finally had a confirmation that I truly had done what I could and that it was now up to the kids themselves. That's one of the hardest things to realize, both at EFY and with my therapy clients. People have their agency and they are ultimately responsible for their choices.
Company picture during games night.
Co-counselors... me, Ashley, and Richard.
And now, I need to finish up my Sunday School lesson and then get to bed. (I'm still tired after my five-hour nap today.) And I need to be rested for my next week of EFY!
This week, I was at the University of Utah. (I felt slightly like a traitor with the U lanyard I had, but the EFY lanyard wasn't sturdy at all.) But that wasn't the hard part.
What did make it hard? There's no need to go into a ton of details, but I'll give the basics.
First off, I was having some personal stuff going on that wasn't very fun to deal with. So I didn't really deal with it (not super effective, either).
Secondly, I just wasn't feeling like a good counselor. I felt that way the week before on Monday, but then I got in the groove of things and felt like a decent counselor by Wednesday. This week, I felt okay on Monday, but I was feeling awful by Wednesday.
And finally, everything was compounded by the fact that I was tired from EFY the week before. I wasn't able to get the Saturday nap like I had planned, so I didn't start off super rested. And in case you didn't know, when I'm tired, I'm overly emotional. That's fun.
The whole week, I was so desperately hoping for the Thursday night payoff. At EFY, Thursday is the more "spiritual day" and Thursday night is testimony meeting. As a counselor, it's so nice to partake of the Spirit there and realize that maybe you did help to make a difference in the lives of your kids in helping them become at least a little bit closer to Christ. But Thursday was by far the hardest day for me (in fact, I had two mini-breakdowns on Thursday, one of which my BC got to witness). I truly felt like I had failed as a counselor and hadn't made an ounce of difference in anybody's life, except maybe my own.
But I really don't want this to be a downer post. I liked my counselor group and our company (Nothing Wavering, from James 1:5-6). It was fun being with the "older kids" (16-18 year olds). And I think overall, they had a good time. I definitely learned a lot from this week that I really hope I can continue to apply to my life. I know that at least I am closer to Christ and my own testimony has grown. I know that I learned some things that will help me in the future as I continue to work with youth and hopefully later on as a mother. And I think instead of the Thursday night payoff, I had the Friday night payoff. On Friday, I finally had a confirmation that I truly had done what I could and that it was now up to the kids themselves. That's one of the hardest things to realize, both at EFY and with my therapy clients. People have their agency and they are ultimately responsible for their choices.
Company picture during games night.
Co-counselors... me, Ashley, and Richard.
And now, I need to finish up my Sunday School lesson and then get to bed. (I'm still tired after my five-hour nap today.) And I need to be rested for my next week of EFY!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
EFY- St. George
I got back today from my first week of being an EFY counselor. We were at Dixie State in St. George. It was quite a nice campus, minus the ridiculous heat (which isn't super fun to wear polos and pants in... and it definitely isn't fun when the AC in your apartment breaks and it's 89 degrees and won't cool down). And the food was actually surprisingly good (though the long lines weren't fun).
The session was a little bizarre, because it was a combined stay-at-home and overnight session. I heard it was combined, but I assumed that meant that some counselors and kids would be stay-at-home, and others (like myself) would be overnight and we would just combine for some activities. However, it ended up being that all counselors were overnight and everyone had some stay-at-home and some overnight kids in their groups. I had 7 overnighters and 5 stay-at-homes in my counselor group. Because of this combo session, the schedule was a bit weird and cut things a bit short. It was sad some of the time, but I definitely appreciated the extra hour of sleep a night (since the day started at 7:30am for counselors, instead of the normal 6:30am).
My co-counselors (Ry and Tiffany) were absolutely fantastic and were amazing mentors to have my first week. I'll definitely be a better counselor because of them.
I also adored the coordinator and BC team, which is great because I'm going to continue to be working with them in Salt Lake. (No picture, but I'm sure I'll get one another week.)
My company for the week consisted of 39 amazing 14- and 15-year-olds. They were an absolute blast and I learned a ton from them. They decided to name themselves "You Choose" (using Matthew 6:24).
I miss them already.
I never understood people who said it was hard to be an EFY counselor. Remembering how fun I had the 4 years I went as a participant, I couldn't comprehend how it could possibly be hard. But I get it now. The week definitely had its ups and downs for me as I tried to figure out how to be the best counselor I could. And to be honest, I do feel like Satan was trying really hard to get to me, so I wouldn't be as effective in helping these youth. But I was able to get through the "downs" and enjoy some incredible "ups." The laughs shared over crazy dance moves, Tiffany's "dolphin laugh", our company winning the water competition and being able to dump water on the health counselors, the most variety I've ever seen at a variety show, the sweet spirit during testimony meeting, the bonding that occurred during games and pizza night, playing cards during free time, hanging out with the counselors before all the kids came, being able to consistently bear my testimony as I taught these amazing youth, and receiving lots of my own personal revelation as I was able to quietly ponder.
There's so much more I could write about the week, but I think I'll have to end it there. I'm really tired. And kind of worried for next week. (If I'm this tired now... how am I going to do with even less sleep next week?) But I know it'll be great. I'm so excited to meet a new group of kids and learn and grow from them, and hopefully I can help them some, as well.
The session was a little bizarre, because it was a combined stay-at-home and overnight session. I heard it was combined, but I assumed that meant that some counselors and kids would be stay-at-home, and others (like myself) would be overnight and we would just combine for some activities. However, it ended up being that all counselors were overnight and everyone had some stay-at-home and some overnight kids in their groups. I had 7 overnighters and 5 stay-at-homes in my counselor group. Because of this combo session, the schedule was a bit weird and cut things a bit short. It was sad some of the time, but I definitely appreciated the extra hour of sleep a night (since the day started at 7:30am for counselors, instead of the normal 6:30am).
My co-counselors (Ry and Tiffany) were absolutely fantastic and were amazing mentors to have my first week. I'll definitely be a better counselor because of them.
I also adored the coordinator and BC team, which is great because I'm going to continue to be working with them in Salt Lake. (No picture, but I'm sure I'll get one another week.)
My company for the week consisted of 39 amazing 14- and 15-year-olds. They were an absolute blast and I learned a ton from them. They decided to name themselves "You Choose" (using Matthew 6:24).
I miss them already.
I never understood people who said it was hard to be an EFY counselor. Remembering how fun I had the 4 years I went as a participant, I couldn't comprehend how it could possibly be hard. But I get it now. The week definitely had its ups and downs for me as I tried to figure out how to be the best counselor I could. And to be honest, I do feel like Satan was trying really hard to get to me, so I wouldn't be as effective in helping these youth. But I was able to get through the "downs" and enjoy some incredible "ups." The laughs shared over crazy dance moves, Tiffany's "dolphin laugh", our company winning the water competition and being able to dump water on the health counselors, the most variety I've ever seen at a variety show, the sweet spirit during testimony meeting, the bonding that occurred during games and pizza night, playing cards during free time, hanging out with the counselors before all the kids came, being able to consistently bear my testimony as I taught these amazing youth, and receiving lots of my own personal revelation as I was able to quietly ponder.
There's so much more I could write about the week, but I think I'll have to end it there. I'm really tired. And kind of worried for next week. (If I'm this tired now... how am I going to do with even less sleep next week?) But I know it'll be great. I'm so excited to meet a new group of kids and learn and grow from them, and hopefully I can help them some, as well.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Cruise and Orlando
On my 101 list, I put that I wanted to go on a cruise. Well... I did it! It was a happy graduation present to myself. Julie (my friend/roommate) and I went on the Carnival Legend for a wonderful 7-night trip to the Western Caribbean. We stopped at Cozumel, Belize City, Roatan (Honduras), and Grand Cayman.
I really don't have a ton of time to go into a lot of details, but it really was a great vacation. It was fun waking up with a different (beautiful) view every morning. The excursions were also a lot of fun. We went to Mayan ruins of Tulum in Mexico, Crystal Cave tubing and ziplining in Belize, shopped and hung out on the beach in Roatan (I got an awesome pair of earrings made out of soda pop tabs), and went to Stingray City and snorkeling in Grand Cayman. We had a great time meeting different people at dinner each night and going to some of the entertainment on the ship. It was wonderful having all this great food available all the time and I'm surprised I didn't put on more weight than I did. I loved having my bed turned down each night, with a towel animal and a chocolate on top.
However... I don't miss the humidity. I prefer being able to breathe my air, not drink it. I also don't miss wearing my glasses! My contacts started acting up during the cruise, so I had to wear my glasses most of the time. So basically I was "six eyes" a lot of the time, because I also had to wear my sunglasses because my eyes were pretty sensitive to light. But I survived. And I went to an eye doctor once I was finally back and she thinks it's just a solution problem. So hopefully I'm good now.
After the cruise, we continued to party. Our other roommate, Sara, was in Orlando for business, so she picked us up from Tampa and we headed to Orlando. We went to the Orlando LDS Temple grounds and just hung out for a bit on Sunday. On Monday and Tuesday, we went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. It was definitely a ton more crowded than it was when I went in November when I was there for a conference. But it was still fun. We also went to a dinner theater show called Arabian Nights. Not quite what I was expecting, but I did get to cross another thing off my 101 list by doing that. On Wednesday, we drove around Celebration (a town originally created by Disney) and then went to a kind of sketchy indoor flea market. But I got a deck of cards for a dollar, a retro deck of Uno cards for another dollar, and two awesome pairs of earrings for $5. (Pretty much the only souviners I got on the trip were smushed pennies and earrings... and I'm okay with that.) Then we finally came back to Utah, barely escaping the crazy weather in Denver. (Side note: the cruise was the first time I ever claimed being from Utah. Because when you're in Utah, people want to know where you're from before that, which is California. So I still claim California. But on the cruise, when people ask where you're from, they want to know where you're living now. So it was weird claiming Utah.)
Anyways, it was a ton of fun. Sorry this is such a scattered post. You can check out some pictures on Facebook. You can also check out Julie's blog posts about our vacation. It starts on this post and then continues for a few more (at this posting, she's still working on them). She goes in to way more detail than I do... because I'm about to head to EFY and don't have time to write any more! Enjoy!
I really don't have a ton of time to go into a lot of details, but it really was a great vacation. It was fun waking up with a different (beautiful) view every morning. The excursions were also a lot of fun. We went to Mayan ruins of Tulum in Mexico, Crystal Cave tubing and ziplining in Belize, shopped and hung out on the beach in Roatan (I got an awesome pair of earrings made out of soda pop tabs), and went to Stingray City and snorkeling in Grand Cayman. We had a great time meeting different people at dinner each night and going to some of the entertainment on the ship. It was wonderful having all this great food available all the time and I'm surprised I didn't put on more weight than I did. I loved having my bed turned down each night, with a towel animal and a chocolate on top.
However... I don't miss the humidity. I prefer being able to breathe my air, not drink it. I also don't miss wearing my glasses! My contacts started acting up during the cruise, so I had to wear my glasses most of the time. So basically I was "six eyes" a lot of the time, because I also had to wear my sunglasses because my eyes were pretty sensitive to light. But I survived. And I went to an eye doctor once I was finally back and she thinks it's just a solution problem. So hopefully I'm good now.
After the cruise, we continued to party. Our other roommate, Sara, was in Orlando for business, so she picked us up from Tampa and we headed to Orlando. We went to the Orlando LDS Temple grounds and just hung out for a bit on Sunday. On Monday and Tuesday, we went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. It was definitely a ton more crowded than it was when I went in November when I was there for a conference. But it was still fun. We also went to a dinner theater show called Arabian Nights. Not quite what I was expecting, but I did get to cross another thing off my 101 list by doing that. On Wednesday, we drove around Celebration (a town originally created by Disney) and then went to a kind of sketchy indoor flea market. But I got a deck of cards for a dollar, a retro deck of Uno cards for another dollar, and two awesome pairs of earrings for $5. (Pretty much the only souviners I got on the trip were smushed pennies and earrings... and I'm okay with that.) Then we finally came back to Utah, barely escaping the crazy weather in Denver. (Side note: the cruise was the first time I ever claimed being from Utah. Because when you're in Utah, people want to know where you're from before that, which is California. So I still claim California. But on the cruise, when people ask where you're from, they want to know where you're living now. So it was weird claiming Utah.)
Anyways, it was a ton of fun. Sorry this is such a scattered post. You can check out some pictures on Facebook. You can also check out Julie's blog posts about our vacation. It starts on this post and then continues for a few more (at this posting, she's still working on them). She goes in to way more detail than I do... because I'm about to head to EFY and don't have time to write any more! Enjoy!
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