Pioneer Day and Enduring to the End

I've been struggling lately... Really, really struggling in so many ways. And some of those ways make it really hard for me to want to go to church. It is a total battle to get to church on Sundays. And that's not something you really go around telling people. And you definitely don't tell people at church, because we're all supposed to be perfect, right? It's hard to admit you're struggling, when everybody else seems to be doing fine. (Though I know logically others are struggling and putting on their good faces, as well.)

So last night, I was pretty sure I was just going to stay home from church. What was the point of going when I felt like I was too far gone? But somehow, I did make it to church today. Part of that was due to seeing a quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland posted on The Church's Instagram:

"Please remember tomorrow, and all the days after that, that the Lord blesses those who want to improve, who accept the need for commandments and try to keep them, who cherish Christlike virtues and strive to the best of their ability to acquire them. If you stumble in that pursuit, so does everyone; the Savior is there to help you keep going. If you fall, summon His strength. Call out like Alma, 'O Jesus, … have mercy on me.' He will help you get back up. He will help you repent, repair, fix whatever you have to fix, and keep going. Soon enough you will have the success you seek." 

Good quote, right?

So I made it to church. But I'll be honest... once I get to church, I don't always pay attention to what is going on and is what being said. It's just easier sometimes to tune out and play around on my phone than deal with whatever anxiety or not-fun feeling I'm trying to block out. But today, a few things did get through during the talks about pioneers (since today is Pioneer Day). This quote stuck out to me especially.

The last sentence especially struck me. There have been so many times I've wished I could just be done. (Thank you, depression. You're the best.) And because of that, I imagine it would be so easy for me to die a martyr's death. Then you're done! Because of that, enduring to the end is a principle I've struggled with. Forever seems so long when it's a challenge to just get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other. It is so easy to want to give up. But I've been called to live a disciple's life. So, today, I pick myself up again and continue to move forward.

Getaway to Stanley

I've been feeling pretty burnt out lately and needed a vacation. The problem is, I don't really have any friends that have the same time or financial ability as I do. But I so desperately needed a getaway that I wasn't going to let nobody being available stop me. So I decided to take a little solo vacation and cross some things off my 101 list by going to Stanley.

My main focus for the trip was going to Redfish Lake, which I've heard is absolutely beautiful. By deciding to go so late (like... 5 or 6 days before I was going to leave), there weren't a lot of lodging options left, especially as I don't have camping gear to just set up camp wherever (I don't think I'd enjoy camping by myself, anyways). I guess Stanley is a popular getaway. Luckily, I was able to find a cabin available at Redwood Cabins in Lower Stanley. It wasn't anything fancy, but it's right on the Salmon River, which was perfect for me. The first thing I did when I got there was got on a provided chair on the back lawn right behind my cabin and just sat out and read and listened to the river rushing, the wind rustling, and the cows mooing. It was also so nice to have my window open each night and just hear the river going past. Water is so calming to me.

Seriously...this was my view from right behind my cabin. :-)

I got there Wednesday early evening, and after reading for a bit, I ventured in to town to find somewhere to eat. But one thing I realized is that there isn't a ton of parking and I didn't really want to deal with a bunch of people and I wasn't sure what I felt like eating, anyways. So I just ended up going back to the cabin, and walking to the really close restaurant (Bridge Street Grill) that's also right on the river. I requested a table on the deck so I could enjoy the view as I ate my steak. It was lovely.

Thursday, I got up and went to Stanley Baking Company for breakfast, as it had fantastic reviews on Yelp. I was planning on getting the pancakes, but I ended up trying a dish called Migas, along with a hot chocolate and a pastry called a "Mo' Better" that I think was a cream filled bun with chocolate on top. So good!

After breakfast, the main event was to go to Redfish. It truly was beautiful, and I know my pictures don't do it justice.


It was definitely crowded. I spent most of my time reading by the lodge. I also got on a scenic boat tour of the lake, which was nice. I even got a picture between "Heaven's Gate." (The one picture of myself the whole trip.) I couldn't seem to convince myself to get in the lake, though.


After Redfish, I came back to the cabin and rested for a while, before finally convincing myself to take a shower and go to dinner. I went to The Redd Restaurant, and got an amazing walnut pesto risotto with scallops and tomatoes. And then a chocolate mousse thing for dessert. So delicious! Apparently, they're a kind of farm to table operation and their menu changes during the season. But I LOVED what I got and totally would go back. And then more reading outside after dinner, until a guy came out and started smoking. Blah. So I went inside to continue my reading and eventually fell asleep super late because I just couldn't seem to wind down.

Today, I got breakfast at Stanley Baking Company again, this time getting their oatcake pancakes, orange juice, and a cinnamon roll. Delicious. Then I went back to Redfish, figuring that I needed to get in the water to feel like I can truly cross Redfish off my 101 list. I set up camp on the crowded beach and ventured in. It was rather cold, and the bay area was shallow, so I didn't completely submerge myself (it's always easier to just dive in instead of walking in). But I did get in the water at least a bit, so I'm counting it.

(You can see how shallow it is so far out, by seeing the different blues.)

And then, on the way out of town, I got a four-handed/tandem massage. I don't know how I heard of that type of massage originally, but it sounded so cool... having two therapists work on you at once. It really was relaxing. It probably wasn't the best idea that I then immediately drove back to Boise and promptly tensing up my back again. Oh well. Oh. And I did take a slight detour to check out Stanley Lake. Maybe I'll have to go back sometime and actually get on.

I hope to go back to Stanley someday with some friends. I feel like I would enjoy it more being with another person or a small group of people. It really was nice (and kind of liberating) to spend some time alone initially, but I don't think I'm cut out for long solo vacations. (And this vacation was only two nights! Not long by any means.) I need someone else to help make decisions when I don't feel like it. Or drag me along on some adventure when I'm tempted to just stay and read the whole time. (Of course, reading is good. But if I'm spending money on a vacation, I should probably experience some of the area.) And it's always nice to have a friend when you're at a restaurant so you can try more than one entree! Ultimately... I think I just need good company on vacations to talk to me and make me laugh and have fun with as we make memories together. And besides, trying to put sunscreen on your own back is not super effective. At least I didn't get sunburned!