Twin Falls, Hero, and a "New" Dress

Twin Falls
A couple weekends ago, Karen and I decided to get away from Boise for the day and headed to Twin Falls. It was lovely. We did a session at the Twin Falls temple, checked out Shoshone Falls and the Perrine Bridge, and visited her aunt and uncle in Gooding. I love little escapes.

Hero
Karen and I were out shopping and she asked if I wanted to make a stop at the Humane Society. I didn't see the harm (especially since we were wondering if a cat she had adopted previously that had run away had shown up). Unfortunately, that cat wasn't there, but there were some adorable kittens. And as soon as Karen realized one was a polydactyl, I knew we were coming home with a kitten. Meet Hero. He's adorable.

You see his little polydactyl paws, right? 

He makes this face a lot. Definitely likes his meowing. :-) But he also likes cuddling, so it's ok.

However, we're now outnumbered... just two people to three animals. But we're surviving so far.

Dress
My sister (Aubrey)'s wedding is coming up, and I was really struggling to find a dress. I don't look great in two of her wedding colors, and the third color is really hard to find right now, since it's more of a fall/winter color. Then I realized that I had a dress in my closet that my mom had given me that I had never worn, since I didn't like the color and it didn't flatter me at all. I heard about using Rit Dye to dye clothes and decided to give it a try. Look at this lovely (ha) before picture. See my not happy face? Understand why it's just been sitting in my closest for a couple of years?

Karen helped me to remove the belt loops for the sash (I couldn't find the seam to remove them myself... I'm not that talented in sewing yet) and then I used the washing machine method and mixed two different colors. I moved the sash up a bit (I look great in empire waists) and I had a totally new dress that I'm really looking forward to wearing at Aubrey's wedding! It's a bit lighter than I meant it to be, but I still really like it.

The side effect of using Rit Dye? I now want to dye lots of my clothes that are faded or that I don't wear as often as I could because I don't love the color it is right now. Hopefully I don't go too dye crazy...

Building a Snowman and Aerial Art

So... I can't remember actually ever building a snowman. Sad, I know. But I did live in California for most of my life that I remember. And then I just never did it in Provo. (I generally don't like playing in the snow. I much prefer watching it fall while I'm cuddled up in a blanket with some hot chocolate and a book.) So I added it to my 101 list and kind of forgot about it. But then Karen has been really good about bugging me to do my 101 list. (It's nice to have supportive roommates.) I know there are goals on my list that simply won't happen at this point, and I'm okay with that. I kind of figured that's how the snowman one would be when it was suddenly March and the weather started acting like it was spring. But Karen dragged me up to Bogus a few weekends ago and we made a couple of miniature snowmen. The snow had pretty much turned to ice except for the first few inches, so we weren't able to make them super big, so we went for quantity instead of quality. (Maybe next year we'll make a big one.)

 Also, since I don't ever remember making a snow angel, either, we took the time to do that.

Another thing on my list was to try some aerial art. I figured this one wasn't going to happen, since I couldn't find anywhere in Boise that did this. I knew there was a facility in Salt Lake, but not around here. But I happened to Google it one day and found an aerial silks workshop being taught at Ophidia Studio, so I signed up and went. It was way harder than I was anticipating. So much flexibility, arm strength, and core strength are required. I got a bit frustrated, but it was pretty fun to try it out. I'm already sore, just a couple of hours later. I'll likely be feeling it more the next few days.

Also, the studio does have some aerial yoga and aerial fitness classes. I may have to check those out at some point. Maybe during my next 101 list? :-)

500 piece puzzle

One of my 101 list goals was to do a 500 piece puzzle by myself. I'm not a huge puzzle person, as they kind of frustrate me at times. But I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

My roommate (Karen) knew about the goal and when she saw a 500 piece puzzle of Brigham City when she was at the DI one day, she knew it was perfect for me. My mom grew up there and my grandparents still live there. So it was fun for me to work on. Definitely took a while for me, but I survived. And I loved that feeling of accomplishment.

Also... thank you, Karen, for letting me take over the kitchen table for a couple of weeks as I worked on it. You're the best. :-)

Vulnerability- a comic

So much blogging this week! Hopefully you're not sick of me.

Vulnerability is a hot topic for me and something I've been thinking a lot about. But for a while, I was avoiding thinking about it, to the point that I checked out Brene Brown's Daring Greatly twice, and each time I returned it to the library without reading it. (Still need to check it out again... and read it this time.)

But I know I wasn't as happy as I could be. By closing myself off, I wasn't happy. I wasn't fulfilled. And I think that's partly why I had such a bad year in 2013. I separated myself. Didn't allow others in. Which kept m heart safe, but totally and utterly deflated. So when I found this comic a while ago, I knew it was something I wanted to share. But since I wasn't in the best place emotionally, I still didn't really want to think about it. I didn't want to consider its impact on me.

The guy illustrated the following C.S. Lewis quote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

And for the comic itself:
http://zenpencils.com/comic/103-c-s-lewis-to-love-at-all/

Whew! Powerful stuff.

But on a happier note, I'm allowing myself to be a bit more vulnerable. Just a little bit. It's still terrifying. I still hate it. But it also is making me happier. To know that people still love and care for me, even when I am being vulnerable and showing uglier sides of myself. And by being vulnerable with the right people, I actually feel safe. Safer than I was when I kept my heart locked up. And it is slowly making Boise more of my home.

Another Testimony

I bore my testimony in church today. That's a pretty rare occurrence for me. I'm not even sure the last time I did that. I don't think I've done it since moving to Boise. And if that's correct, it looks like the last time I bore my testimony in Sacrament Meeting was June 2012 (I know that because I blogged about it). Oops. I really should do that more often.

I wasn't planning on bearing my testimony today. But the past couple of days, I've been reading some old journals and blog posts that got me thinking and pondering. As I was reading some more blog posts during Sacrament Meeting, I felt prompted to get up and share my own testimony about what I was learning. And while I don't remember exactly what I said, I feel like I need to share the basic gist on here, as well.

While looking through old journal entries and blog posts this week, I came to an interesting insight. I was looking at a time period that I remember being good. Sure, I remember that there were a few hard things going on, but mostly, I remember it being good. But as I looked back and actually read through what I was thinking and feeling, I realized that I was wrong. In my mind at that time, it was the complete opposite of how I remember it now. Sure, there were good moments and tender mercies, but overall, it was TERRIBLE. I was so stressed and overwhelmed, and most of all, I was SO bitter and angry at myself and at God. I hated myself and what I was going through. I didn't think I could continue on. And the hardest thing was that I didn't understand how I could be going through such hard difficulties and didn't understand why God would be doing this to me. I felt lost, hurt, and abandoned.

That was a little shocking for me to see. (I guess that's partly the importance of writing in a journal so you can look back at these times and truly remember.) But what was interesting to me now, is being able to see how things had turned out. If I hadn't had certain trials or experiences that were so difficult at the time, I wouldn't be where I am today. Heavenly Father was able to use those experiences to help me to become more like Him. And now, with the perspective that I have, I can be grateful for them. And I can be grateful for recording them so I can see my growth. And now I can rely on past experiences and my past testimony to continue to strengthen me during the hard times I am experiencing and will continue to experience.

I know that we have a loving Heavenly Father. I know that He cares and would do anything for us. We've just got to turn and let Him help. He is there. I know He lives. I know He sent His Son so that He can succor us in our times of need. His love for us is unconditional and incomprehensible. I KNOW. And I will continue to cling to that knowledge for the rest of my life, living in a way so that when I return to Him, He will say, "Well, done, thou good and faithful servant...enter thou into the joy of thy lord."

McCall Winter Carnival (and my need for alone time)

This weekend, I went with some friends (Karen, Leslee, and Michelle) to the McCall Winter Carnival. We stayed at Leslee's sister-in-law's family cabin in Cascade on Friday and Saturday night. Friday night, we just settled in and hung out. On Saturday, we went to McCall to check out the parade, ice sculptures, and booths.

(The Great Wall of China... McCall style!)

We didn't get to see all the ice sculptures, since it was really crowded and rather spread out. But there were some neat ones that we saw. Like this one. And a pyramid. And a pretty adorable abominable snowman. We had a really late lunch at the delicious Pancake House. (They have cinnamon rolls the size of a dinner plate!) Mmm. Then we headed back and took naps because we were all so tired. (None of us had slept particularly well Friday night.) Saturday night, Karen and I escaped to the Gold Fork Hot Springs. It was really nice, though a bit hard to see since it was so steamy and crowded. But the stargazing was AMAZING! Seriously. Sunday, Karen and I went to Sacrament Meeting at the Cascade Branch. Everybody there was really nice. Then we just kind of hung out at the cabin until we headed back to Boise.

Super brief summary of the weekend, I know. It was a good weekend. Nice escape. I just don't know what other details to fill in.

But what this weekend really helped me to discover how much I need alone time. I definitely identify as an introvert, but I guess I'm generally able to get quite a bit of alone time that I haven't really noticed, even if it's journaling or reading alone in my room before I go to bed or eating a bowl of cereal by myself in the morning. I didn't get really any alone time this weekend, as all four of us slept in the same room and we all came in the same car. Plus, no matter where we went (ice sculptures, eating, church, at the cabin, etc.), we were SURROUNDED by other people. There was no real place to escape to and be by myself. Which isn't a bad thing inherently. (I do like having friends.) But it was a bit rough for me. And I didn't realize how hard it was until we got back to Boise and I went to a stake fireside last night. I felt myself getting antsier and antsier and when refreshment time hit, I really couldn't stick around. I dashed out to my car and went home.

So work today was also a bit rough, since I still haven't really recovered (from lack of alone time and from lack of sleep). And in my job, I'm around other people quite a bit. I was able to keep it together okay at work, but then when some things went wrong after work, it was a bit harder to deal with. Simple things I normally would just shrug off almost sent my anxiety levels through the roof.

But after home evening, I was able to come home and be alone and listen to my "Ocean Waves" Pandora station. So I think I'm mainly recovered. And now it's time for bed. (I'm definitely still not caught up from my lack of sleep. But that's okay, right? I'm having fun and making memories.)

Bowling League!

I'm doing a bowling league again this winter! And it's awesome. Each week, we get three games of bowling, a pizza to share with the team, and plenty of fun... all for $10 a person. Doesn't get much better than that.

I must say, it's interesting to see how people react when we say we're in a bowling league. People seem to automatically assume we're awesome. (We apparently even had some people from Karen's work fighting over us to be on their team at their work party.) But... we're really not that amazing of bowlers. Seriously. After the first week of the league, we were in last place. (Though we somehow won last year because of our super high handicap. Which was really funny, because we had no idea we were doing so well because we didn't understand the whole handicap thing. All we knew was that the other teams kept scoring higher than us each week, so we figured we weren't doing that well. Someone eventually explained what was going on, so all the other teams taking note of who the Queen Pins were suddenly made sense.) And I am a terribly inconsistent bowler. It's a bit frustrating to me, though I still have plenty of fun. This week, I scored 104, 73, and 111. Last night when I went bowling for Karen's work party, I got 128 in the first game (and even within the game I was a bit inconsistent... getting a spare or strike several frames in a row, and then bowling into the gutter the next frame). We weren't quite able to finish the second game (the place was rented for two hours, not two games), but I ended the ninth frame at 65. Oops.

However, what's rather exciting (and what I really wanted to share) was last week's bowling... our first week of the league. That week, I got 81, 99, and then finished off the night with a 150. No idea how I managed to get the 150. It's the highest I've ever scored before. But I took a picture for proof. (Actually, Karen took it for me, since she brought her nice camera.) And I was super happy because I got to check another thing off my 101 list! (I wasn't sure if I'd be able to check that one off... but woot!)

Hopefully I'll be able to become a bit more consistent of a bowler this season. But if not, at least I'm having fun!