Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Working out

Another task of my 101 list is complete. I worked out 6x a week for the month of January. Some of my workouts weren't all that great. (Definitely just did Just Dance 3 for like 15 minutes some days.) But it was nice to accomplish because up until this point, I'd work out 3-5x a week, but I wouldn't really do anything those other days. This gave me a bit more of a push to workout on days I didn't really feel like it.

And though I probably won't work out 6x every week from here on out, I hope I can continue to keep exercising regularly and workout sometimes even I don't feel like it.

Cuz let's be honest. I like food. And I need to balance that out somehow. :-)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Just Dance 3

One of my 101 Goals was to "Get 5 stars on a dance in Just Dance 3." I completed that this morning while playing "Are You Gonna Go My Way." I was a little sad that none of my roommates were awake to see. But don't worry. I have proof.



Also, I got hi-scores in two other dances. (Granted, that may be because nobody has ever really played those songs much before. As soon as my roommates discover them, they'll beat my score. But that's ok.)

I guess I'm better at Just Dance 3 when I play it by myself and nobody is watching?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Introvert vs. Extrovert

Today, in my leadership class, we were talking about self-awareness and how vital that is as a leader. As part of the class, we took a brief Myers-Briggs inventory on the section about extrovert versus introverts. Some people in my class were shocked that I had 6 questions marked as the "introverted response" and only 1 marked as the "extroverted response." They apparently don't see me that way. And that's because I can be extroverted when I need to be. I can be quite talkative with people that I'm close to (and after spending over a year and a half with the people in my cohort, I've become quite close to them). But deep down, I am an introvert.

I was so shy when I was little. I much preferred reading in my room to playing with friends every day. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But my wise parents knew that I would need to grow and stretch a little and become a bit more extroverted in order to accomplish things in life. As such, they forced me to talk to strangers (in safe situations, of course). They made me order food for myself at restaurants and wouldn't let me rely on them. I had to talk to people in the ward or to my teachers at school. Sometimes, my parents would stand back and be there for moral support, so I wouldn't have to do it all by myself, but I still had to be the one to do the talking. I vividly remember being at McDonald's once with my family. We had already eaten, but I really wanted an apple pie for dessert. My parents said I could get one, but that I had to order it myself. They handed me the dollar, but I almost handed it back. Ordering for myself wasn't worth it. But I finally went over and ordered myself. My parents were proud of me and I was proud of myself.

I'm really grateful they did that and many other things like that over the years. I'm also grateful that I've willingly put myself out there personally to learn and grow in various situations and leadership positions. I've definitely come out of my shell some since I was younger. I can talk to people relatively easily when I need to. I can make small talk at parties and have come away as friends with some of those people I have met. As a social worker, I need to quickly establish rapport with my clients. I can do that. But I'm still not an extrovert. (Well... introverts and extroverts are on a continuum. But I am definitely a bit more on the introvert side.) And last week, that was highlighted to me.

Last Thursday, I was in yoga class at the gym and was struggling to do some of the poses and I almost started crying. I was wondering why I was almost in tears. The fact that I am not as flexible or strong as pretty much everyone else in the class is not a big deal. I can handle that. It gets annoying and frustrating at times, but I can normally handle those feelings just fine. But this time, I was almost in tears. Why?

As I was doing some warrior pose, I realized why. I had not had any alone time that week. Normally, I can sneak away and read quietly in my room for a bit, zone out and watch some TV, journal, or do some other activity by myself to recharge. However, last week, I didn't have that. I was constantly running from one thing to another and pretty much constantly with people. Even when I was journaling, I was in the living room, surrounded by my roommates or something. For a better picture of my crazy week: Sunday, I had church, then I was busy writing missionaries (and my roommates were in and out of the room). Suddenly, it was time for dinner group, then the CES fireside, then ward prayer/socializing. Monday, I had work from 9am-6pm, then got home in just enough time to change, call someone, and then run to a ward FHE. After FHE, we had people over at our house to play Just Dance 3. Tuesday, I had school from 8am-6:30pm. And during my 3 hour break from school, I went out to lunch with a friend. After school, I went to the gym, then came home and watched Once Upon a Time with some roommates and friends. Wednesday, I worked out at the gym, had work from 10am-6pm, then had just enough time to get to institute, and then came back and hung out with roommates. Then, Thursday, I had school from 8am-2:30pm, then had my EFY interview, and then I was at the gym in yoga class. And even at the gym, I was surrounded by people. And that is when that realization hit me. I need alone time. And that is also when I made the decision to not go roller skating with my roommates and some people in my ward, so I could have even just a half hour of alone time before another roommate came home. If I had gone roller skating, I surely would have cried. But by staying home, I was able to quietly relax and recharge.

To some it all up... Though it may not seem like it to some people, I am an introvert. I need alone time. I do enjoy being with people. I find great joy in talking to people and establishing relationships. That's partly why I chose the career path I did. But I also need time to myself. I knew that deep down, but I thought that maybe I had changed enough that I was more of an extrovert than introvert. But that experience reminded me that I am still more of an introvert than an extrovert. And, for the sake of my mental sanity, I shouldn't fight that. Interesting insight, I'd say. So, I pose the question to you. Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you know that? And do you fight it?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

EFY Interview

I went to my EFY counselor interview today. Being an EFY counselor is something I've always wanted to do since I went to EFY myself as a participant. I could imagine no greater job than having fun with youth as you help them to become closer to Christ. I still feel that way. I really want to be an EFY counselor. I even put it on my 101 list. And this really is the only summer that it could happen, because after this summer, I'll hopefully have a real job. And I (unfortunately) can't just take off from a real job for weeks at a time during the summer so I can be an EFY counselor.

The interview was great. For those who don't know, they do a group interview for EFY counselors. And though group interviews can be kind of awful, there is so much support and love between everyone (I mean, considering the position, it kind of makes sense), that it doesn't really matter. I was in a room with 11 other people and two interviewers. To begin, the interviewers had us write down a random fact about out ourselves and then collected them and we guessed who each belonged to. Then they asked us questions about things like why we wanted to be a counselor and we would just answer if we felt like it. We then did some fun games and afterwards talked about how the games could be related to the gospel and life. Good practice, because so much of the teaching at EFY can be informal. We then got together into triads and were given a scripture that we had to discuss and find a company name from. After, we discussed what that process is like for participants. They then answered the few questions we had about the hiring process and things. I really came away edified and uplifted.

I really don't know if I'll get the position. Honestly, it's kind of doubtful that I will. There are a limited number of counselor spots and SO many people apply. It's especially hard for girls to become counselors. And even though I feel like I'd be a great fit to be an EFY counselor, I don't really feel like I stood out a ton in the interview. Plus, I haven't served a mission (and it seemed like a majority of the girls in my group had).

However, as much as I desire to be an EFY counselor (and though I realize it's unlikely that I'll actually become one), I'm feeling quite peaceful about it. I know things will work out the way they're supposed to, even if I don't see why at the time. Looking back, it's been a really good thing I haven't been an EFY counselor past summers. The summer after my freshman year, I wasn't old enough to be a counselor (I didn't turn 19 until the end of the summer, and you had to be 19 by June 1). But that summer, I was able to go home and work and have my jaw surgery. The next summer, they increased the age requirement to 20, and once again, I couldn't be a counselor. I was SO upset at first. But because I wasn't a counselor that summer, I was able to go to school and do an internship, which allowed me to graduate college in three years and have enough experience to jump right into the MSW program. The next summer, I was finally able to apply... and I wasn't accepted. I was upset. Especially since my roommate that summer worked in the EFY office and so I knew that they were scrambling to find counselors. I was available, but they had rejected me for some reason or another so they wouldn't consider me. Honestly, I'm still not sure why I wasn't a counselor that summer. It would've been perfect, in my opinion. I had very flexible jobs that I easily could've taken time off from and I wasn't in any classes since I had just graduated. But for some reason, it wasn't meant to be that summer. Maybe I helped someone I don't know about. Or maybe there were experiences that impacted me in some way that I needed that now I don't even realize happened. And then, last summer, I was at my internship at the state hospital. I learned and grew so much from that experience. And though I was sad that I wasn't an EFY counselor (and I even tried to see if they'd let me do one session once I realized I could end my internship early), I knew that the state hospital was where I needed to be.

So... I'm not sure what's going to happen this summer. But I have faith in the Lord that He will lead me to where I need to be... Whether that is at EFY, in Provo hanging out with my roommates, traveling, or maybe moving somewhere across the country and starting a real job. I just pray that I will trust in whatever direction and revelation I receive and that I can then move forward, confident with where I am and where I need to be.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Friendly Letter to Myself

Today I got a letter to myself that I wrote almost 10 years ago (apparently on June 4, 2002. Thank you, past self, for dating the letter). My 7th grade core teacher had us write them and apparently he saved them all for 10 years and just mailed them all out. I'm not going to type it all up for you to read (some of it is quite embarrassing), but here are a few of the gems (along with my commentary):

"Dear Self,
How are you doing? You must be 22 now. What have you accomplished in the last 10 years? Well, here's some stuff that I want to remember about me now. Here are the things that I want to remember."
(Apparently, I liked being redundant in my writing. Let's hope my writing has improved in the past 10 years? Or in other words... Let's hope my writing has gotten better in the past decade. :P)

"I have lots of favorite movies. Some of them are Rat Race, The Princess Bride, A Walk to Remember, and Miss Congeniality. I like the first 2 because they are funny, A Walk to Remember because it is a really sweet love story, and Miss Congeniality because it is funny."
(Again... my writing needs some work.)

"Who I like or have a crush on- Let's see. I liked (name redacted) for part of this year, but I don't anymore. I now like (name redacted), (name redacted), and (name redacted). I like them because they are members of the church, funny, nice, and dare I say it? HOT!"
(Uh... no comment.)

"One thing that I am really proud of is that I was able to make friends with the "populars" and I can hang out with them. They seem to like me, too!"
(Oh... poor little, naive me. Next year with the "populars" was not so great.)

"One thing I am embarrassed about is when I first started hanging out with the "populars," they decided I needed to have a boyfriend."
(Oh man... that's a fun story.)

"10 years from now, I'll either be on a mission or be at college. (Hopefully at BYU.) I haven't really decided if I'm going on a mission yet. If I don't, I will be in college--possibly even married. If I am married, he must be a returned missionary, hot, and able to take me to the temple. If he isn't that (and more!), I've cheated myself. I could do better. If I'm in college, I'll probably be majoring in writing or acting. That'll be fun!"
(Got the BYU part. Did not follow the writing or acting part or the mission part. And definitely did not follow through on the marriage part yet.)

"Right now, the most important thing in my life is my friends because they really help me feel wanted and needed...I hope that they won't dump me like my past friends have. I hope that we stay friends forever!"
(Some of them did dump me later. And I haven't had any contact with any of "the populars" that I listed past 8th grade.)

"I am still learning about me though and hope that in 10 years I have learned a lot of stuff on that topic."
(Um... I guess I have.)

Monday, January 2, 2012

2011: A Year in Review

So... I'm going to be totally cliche (cuz that's how I roll) and post a list of some highlights from 2011. I wish I had my old journals so I could remember more things, but my memory (and old Facebook statuses) will have to do.

• Lots of classes and learning... and still maintaining about a 3.7 GPA in grad school (definitely not as good as undergrad, but that's okay... radical acceptance)
• Falling in love with my crockpot
• Seeing many friends leave on missions and many friends come back
• Practicing speaking up for myself when dealing with a roommate not following BYU standards and a landlord that wasn't doing anything about it (and who later was a jerk about returning my deposit)
• Losing 20 pounds
• Giving up desserts and chocolate for 85 days (and surviving!)
• Doing an internship at the Utah State Hospital in the Girls Youth unit
• Going on the first date I've been asked on in over two years (I'd been on other dates, but I always asked or it was a blind date)
• Flour fights and mocktails
• Memorial Day shopping at the Park City outlets
• Wandering around Salt Lake with friends
• Delta for Fourth of July
• Summer of concerts: Nik Day, Earthfest, Mat Kearney/Owl City, The Decemberists, Josh Groban
• Tucanos (three times!)
• Getting a full-tuition scholarship for my second year of grad school
• Sleepover with people in cohort and sleepover with people in the ward
• Realizing it is possible for a guy to like me as more than a friend
• Realizing how much I appreciate physical touch when I care about someone... yay cuddling!
• Stargazing
• Sunday dinners, ward prayers, and game nights
• Wedding receptions of several friends
• Sundance full-moon ski lift
• Farmer's market
• New York with Sara
• Hawaii with my family
• Playing in the rain
• Moving into an apartment with three girls that I knew previously-- a new experience for me
• Getting several massages
• Several different church callings... FHE "Mom," ward prayer co-chair, and Sunday School teacher
• Staying up way too late with roommates
• Plant marble fights
• Working at LDS Family Services and actually sometimes feeling like a legit therapist
• Presenting my Master's Research Project at a national conference in Orlando (also going to Universal Studios and Harry Potter World while there)
• Thanksgiving in Vegas
• Christmas in southern California
• Squeekers hitting 240,000 miles and still going strong

There were also some low lights, but there's no real need to include those. Trying to focus on the positives here. 2011 really was a good year overall. But I'm going to try to make 2012 even better!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Finally starting...

... A blog.
... Day Zero Project

It's now 2012. And instead of doing my traditional yearly goals, I decided to finally give in and participate in the Day Zero Project (making a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days). It's something I've been considering since this summer, but the beginning of the new year was the final catalyst for me. One of the things I put on my list was to start a blog. So now it's just 100 things left in 1000 days. Boo-ya. (I feel accomplished.) I was really debating sharing my list. Some of the stuff is pretty personal. But I think the benefit of having people there to keep me accountable and maybe join in some of the adventures will outweigh the possible embarrassment that may be caused from sharing it. You can view my list here

I feel like I need to do a post about 2011 and why it was a good year. Definitely had some "downs" along with the many "ups," though. But I'm not quite feeling up to that right now. However, I feel like 2012 is going to be a fantastic year for me on so many levels. A lot of great things are going to happen. I can feel it. And my 101 list has me even more excited.