Taking EFY Home

I was going to write a long list of "You Know You're an EFY Counselor When..." but that's been done before and I don't think I have anything to add. (There are some seriously funny ones.) So I decided to do a slightly more serious blog about what I learned.

Every Friday, we emphasized "taking it home" to the youth. We talk about how awesome EFY was, but how EFY is a waste if we don't apply what we learn once we go home. And in order to do that, we must first recognize what we learned. So in order to not be a hypocrite, I wanted to recognize a few of my takeaways. A couple of my main ones are not being as afraid to open my mouth (or use my fingers) to share the gospel. That's one reason I'm trying to share more gospel-related things in my blog. You never know who may be coming across this and hopefully they can glimpse my testimony. I also definitely came away with a much stronger testimony of Christ and the Atonement (this is definitely due in part to The Living Christ activity we did each week, as well as some amazing classes and personal spiritual experiences). I know there's still so much more I could learn about these things, and I know my testimony still needs to grow more. But it definitely grew a lot. And I am currently working on reading Jesus the Christ in order to help continue to grow that testimony.

But my last week of EFY, Celeste (my wonderful BC) talked about recognizing what we learned from EFY that will help us be better wives and mothers in the future. There are a lot of parallels from being an EFY counselor to being a wife and mother and just to life in general. I know I still have a ton to learn. And honestly, being a wife and mother still scares me sometimes. But I feel a bit more at peace about it after EFY. If I can survive some of that craziness, maybe (just maybe) I can be a good wife and mother in the future. And I know I have a great future ahead of me. So without any further ado, here's my list of "What I Learned About Being a Better Wife and Mother at EFY"

You must rely on the Lord
The Lord better knows and understands your kids than you do. He knows how to help them. He can give you strength. He'll prompt you. He won't let your kids get past His love.

You can't be afraid to ask for help
You can't help these kids alone. Prayer helps since Heavenly Father truly is there. But there are also other people around who are so willing to help. But you may need to get out of your comfort zone and ask for help (which is hard for me to do sometimes).

Satan works hard against you when you're doing the Lord's work
Satan manifests himself in different ways, especially when he knows that you're working hard against him. And you are definitely working against him when you are trying to help people come closer to Christ (whether you're helping your kids come unto Christ or you're just bringing yourself closer). One way that Satan really works against me is through feelings of discouragement or feeling like I'm not good enough or doing enough. If Satan can plant those feelings in me and get me to stop what I'm supposed to be doing, then he's won. I have to exert all my power against him and bring souls to Christ, despite difficulties.

People have their agency
It's so hard. You do all you can to bring these kids closer to Christ and to change their lives for the better and sometimes they choose to go a different way. But agency is part of God's plan. You can't force the Spirit upon others or force them to choose right. They must make the choice themselves. And it's so wonderful when you see them make the correct choices on their own.

Listen to and take time for others
Listening shows people that you care about them. It strengthens relationships. It means so much to show you are truly there. That it isn't just a job. And it's not a chore. The most important thing besides your testimony and dedication to the gospel is just to show how much you love and care for them.

Forget yourself in the work
With all that's going on in my life, it's so easy to focus on myself and my worries and concerns. But as I served those kids, I was happier and my problems didn't seem as big. It can be hard to get out of myself, but it's so amazing when I can.

The Lord makes up the difference
I know I'm not the best leader or teacher. I don't have tons of scriptures memorized and I don't understand all church doctrine. But it doesn't matter. As I did the best I could, the Lord filled in the blanks of what I couldn't do. But He only fills in the rest after I've done all I can. And the Lord blesses you and others for your efforts, even when you don't feel like you've done enough of you don't feel completely "into it."

Discipline
Disciplining is super hard for me. But it is definitely important to enforce the rules so that the kids can stay safe and on the right path. And discipline is a lot more effective when you already have a relationship with them (see note about listening and taking time for others).

Thursday night (and other) payoffs
EFY is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I never understood that before when people who had been counselors said that. How could EFY be hard? It'd be the most fun thing ever. But after my first day... I got it. It's so hard. You pour your heart and soul into this and sometimes it seems like you didn't make a difference. But then Thursday night rolls around and you realize that maybe you did make a difference in some small way and it's such an amazing and humbling experience. I know that I'll crave and treasure those same moments as a mom. I have to work through those hard times to get the reward, but those payoffs will come if I do my part and then look for the payoff. One hard thing for me was when the payoff I was expecting wasn't there. There were sometimes other small moments throughout the week that give you that payoff, which was a blessing. But other times I truly felt like I didn't make a difference. So I had to remember that my God is a fourth-watch God. And sometimes that payoff is a long time coming. Some payoffs I never saw personally each week. But I know they were there... even if some kids don't manifest the changes and payoffs in their lives until years later. They were there. One of the session directors noted that we touched thousands of lives this summer, between the kids themselves, their families, their communities, their future missions and families... It was definitely humbling to think about. I have to hold on to that promise, because I didn't always see the payoff Thursday night. (Though it was generally there.)

You must be on higher ground to help others
So many of the kids needed help and there was no way I could help them if I wasn't prepared and farther along than they were. I had to have a knowledge of gospel principles. I had to have a strong testimony. I had to have my own "spiritual bucket" full before I could give anything to others. And because I was prepared, I was able to help these kids. And that was amazing.

You never know what the Lord has in store...but His plan is best
I think it's so easy to go through life with a plan. But in my case, the Lord always seems to have a different (but better) plan. One of my aunts told me that she knows she's doing what the Lord wants when she's doing something that she never planned on doing by herself. That definitely happened at EFY. I wanted to be at BYU for EFY, but I am so glad He placed me at the other campuses He did. I maybe wanted to have certain co-counselors or certain kids or certain roommates. But in every case, I was exactly where I needed to be.

Importance of keeping a schedule
At EFY, there is a very specific schedule. You always know where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there, and what you're supposed to be doing. That is a stark contrast to how my life normally is (as evidence in the last week since EFY). But I came to the realization of how much more productive I am when I do have a schedule, or at least a general idea of what should happen each day. Obviously, as a mother (and just with life in general), things won't always go according to plan. But it's so important to have a plan to begin with, and then you can modify from there.

Follow the promptings of the Spirit
There were so many times that I felt the need to ask a certain question or tell or certain story at EFY and I had no idea why. But as I followed those promptings, it ended up helping these kids so much and in ways I never would have anticipated. It was amazing to hear kids tell me that something I was prompted to say really helped them.

Oh man. Going through this list just makes me miss EFY even more. And I know there are plenty of other parallels I could draw, but this list is getting long and I know I need to post it (if I keep working on it, posting may never happen). I know that even with these lessons, I still won't be completely prepared to be a wife and mother. But I know how patient my EFY kids were with me as I learned and grew. I'll just have to hope and pray that my future husband and family are as understanding. I'm grateful for all that I learned and all that I will continue to learn.

I'm truly taking EFY home... and I'll "Never Be the Same." :-)