I try really hard to be positive in my social media. To focus on all the good things going on in my life in my Facebook statuses and blog posts. I tend to choose not to post things when I'm in bad moods. Because really, my life is great. I have been so blessed. And if I focus on the positive things more, than hopefully I can ignore the not-so-great stuff and move on with my life to even more positive things.
But this post is going to not be quite as positive and happy. It's not going to be easy to write, but I do feel the need to be vulnerable right now, even though part of me is yelling at me to close myself off instead of opening up. This post is going to be more realistic, though hopefully still at least a bit positive.
This move has been HARD. Really, really, really hard. Which makes me feel silly, because nothing is really wrong. Especially when I look around at others who have to go through things that I could never imagine going through, complaining about how hard it's been to move seems silly. I've been so blessed. I'm here because I got offered a great job in my chosen field of work at a great organization, making a competitive wage. On top of having a good job, I've made some good friends already and have had some great experiences. But for some reason, moving truly has been difficult in a lot of ways and I don't think I fully understood how hard it'd be when I decided to move. I had moved around plenty before. But it was always with my family or around Provo, where I always had a support network. This time, I moved to a place that I had absolutely no connection. To move to do a job I had never done, to try to make friends with people that I had never met before and had no connection to. I had to completely give up my life in Provo. I also had to give up the life I thought I'd have there, which I think is harder in some ways than giving up the life I was actually leading. To start to feel disconnected from my friends in Provo, to see them moving on with their lives and seeming to forget me so easily. I had to completely start fresh, which was really nice in some ways, but really hard in others.
This last week has been especially hard for some reason. I think coming back from Christmas was difficult and that's what triggered some of this. I just wanted to go back "home" to Provo... not "home" to Boise. (And it wasn't super pleasant to come back to it snowing, either.) But I've been feeling like I'm not making a difference at work, since I'm not seeing any real tangible difference in the lives of those I work with. I feel like I'm literally banging my head against the wall sometimes when I'm working with them and I just don't know what to do to get through to them and help them. And since I haven't really been opening up to others, I feel alone. I've been really drained physically and emotionally. I haven't been feeling super close to my Heavenly Father and I've been wondering why on earth I'm in Boise, instead of still in Provo. I felt so much peace about moving here, but it's been hard to trust in that, when I just don't get why I'm here. When I'm not seeing a difference I'm making here. When I haven't started dating some great guy (and in fact, haven't really even met any guys that I'd be interested in dating). When I'm still fumbling to find my way around town. And part of me is just looking towards the rest of my life, wondering if I can really do it. It's not really fun feeling that overwhelming sense of hopelessness, where you just want to cry and not deal with life anymore. Tears have been so close to the surface this week. (Which is really saying something for me, since I'm generally pretty good about forcing those away.)
That's led to several sobbing prayers to my Heavenly Father. And it led me to fast today for some peace and comfort and happiness. For hope that I can make it through this hard time, to the other side. To get why I'm here. To have peace and joy and not just fleeting moments of amusement. And in another one of those amazing tender mercies, that was at least partially answered today at church. A big theme in both sacrament meeting and Relief Society seemed to be about trials and it felt like everyone was talking directly to me... and they were, for Heavenly Father was using them to talk to me. Tears kept threatening to spill over as I was reminded, again and again, that it's going to be okay. That Heavenly Father is aware of me and what I'm going through. That even as I'm being refined, which requires me being in the hottest part of the fire, He sits as "a refiner and purifier of silver", which means he is constantly watching me. Never taking his eyes off me. So that He knows when I have been refined enough for Him to be able to see His image on my countenance.
I keep thinking of a quote by Elder Holland, in which he imagines talking to his past self, and he says, "Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." (source)
I still don't get why I'm here. I know it's likely still going to be difficult. Because even though I am supposed to be here, it doesn't mean that it'll automatically be easy. I know there are some changes that I need to make in my life. But I will keep walking. I will trust in God and believe in good things to come.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Review of 2012, by the Numbers
As much as I don't love math, I kind of like numbers. So, you get another year-in-review post... this time with some numbers that sum up some parts of my past year, in some way or another. (Whew! Lots of sums/somes in that sentence. Sorry about that.) Get excited.
Traveling:
Miles traveled: 22200+
States lived in: 2
States lived in/been in: 12
Countries visited: 4 (5 including US)
Plane trips: 7
Amusement parks visited: 6
School and Work:
Degrees earned: 1
Licensing tests taken (and passed): 2
EFY sessions worked: 6
Jobs held: 4
Jobs applied for when looking for my full-time job: 30+
Interviews attended when looking for my full-time job: 9
Personal:
Dates went on: 12
Boys I went on dates with this year who are now engaged: 3
Books read: 79
Wards member of: 2
Roommates had: 4
Roommates had including EFY weeks: 18
Plays/musicals/operas attended: 8
Cars test driven: 10
Missionaries written: 20+
Spiritual:
Temples/temple grounds visited: 12
Temple open houses attended: 3
Ensigns read: 12
101 List:
101 list goals completed: 28
101 list goals in progress: 9
Novels written: 1 (definitely had to highlight that out of all the goals I did, because that was awesome)
Lives touched: ?
But these numbers definitely don't paint the full picture that was my life in 2012. 2012 was full of surprises and ups and downs and lots of things happened that I never really would have expected. I never would have guessed that I'd ever live in Idaho, but here I am. Never thought I'd be working for the company I do, but (once again), here I am. I've really had to adjust my life plans in several different ways. I had to grow in ways I never thought I would and that (in some cases), I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. But I have grown and learned a lot. And going over some of these numbers (as well as my previous post, with my Facebook statuses), helps me to remember some of the awesome things I did this year, as some of the harder things I went through. I'm really interested to see what 2013 brings.
Traveling:
Miles traveled: 22200+
States lived in: 2
States lived in/been in: 12
Countries visited: 4 (5 including US)
Plane trips: 7
Amusement parks visited: 6
School and Work:
Degrees earned: 1
Licensing tests taken (and passed): 2
EFY sessions worked: 6
Jobs held: 4
Jobs applied for when looking for my full-time job: 30+
Interviews attended when looking for my full-time job: 9
Personal:
Dates went on: 12
Boys I went on dates with this year who are now engaged: 3
Books read: 79
Wards member of: 2
Roommates had: 4
Roommates had including EFY weeks: 18
Plays/musicals/operas attended: 8
Cars test driven: 10
Missionaries written: 20+
Spiritual:
Temples/temple grounds visited: 12
Temple open houses attended: 3
Ensigns read: 12
101 List:
101 list goals completed: 28
101 list goals in progress: 9
Novels written: 1 (definitely had to highlight that out of all the goals I did, because that was awesome)
Lives touched: ?
But these numbers definitely don't paint the full picture that was my life in 2012. 2012 was full of surprises and ups and downs and lots of things happened that I never really would have expected. I never would have guessed that I'd ever live in Idaho, but here I am. Never thought I'd be working for the company I do, but (once again), here I am. I've really had to adjust my life plans in several different ways. I had to grow in ways I never thought I would and that (in some cases), I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. But I have grown and learned a lot. And going over some of these numbers (as well as my previous post, with my Facebook statuses), helps me to remember some of the awesome things I did this year, as some of the harder things I went through. I'm really interested to see what 2013 brings.
My Year in Facebook Statuses- 2012 Edition
(Obligatory end-of-the-year post.)
I saved all my Facebook statuses in a Word Document for the last year, and it was definitely fun for me to review it and remember some of the things that happened this year. Hope you enjoy it, as well.
January
•2011 was a great year overall, but I feel like 2012 is going to be my best year yet. It won't be without its challenges, for sure, but it'll be a fantastic year nonetheless. Bring. It. On.
•My body is rebelling against getting back into work and school mode.
•15 letters later... I'm finally caught up on writing missionaries! Whew!
•Just got a letter from my 12-year-old self. To whatever teacher made me do that and then kept it for 10 years before mailing it... thank you. That was one of the most hilarious things I've read in a while.
•Sometimes being a therapist is really hard.
•Won the Sunday challenge.
February
•Going to bed just after 10pm. What is WRONG with me? (Oh yeah... I'm exhausted...)
•To all those who have been asking me what I'm doing after graduation, I finally have an answer... I'm going to be an EFY counselor! (Just don't ask what I'm doing after July 21. I still have no idea.)
•Heart-shaped pizzas are cool and all... But it's kind of depressing when you have to cut them up to eat them.
•Just got surprised by one of my best friends, who I haven't seen for almost three years. Definitely made me smile. So fun!
•In honor of Fat Tuesday and giving up desserts for Lent, I am currently eating the world's second greatest gift. And then I'll finish it off with a Krispy Kreme. :-)
•The first EFY counselor training was awesome. I'm getting more and more excited for this summer!
•In case anybody was wondering, roller derbies are AWESOME!
•Just ordered my cap, gown, hood, and announcements. Maybe I will make it to graduation, after all!
•I'm allowed to get excited over my half birthday, since I only get it once every four years. (Happy half birthday to me!)
March
•Sometimes 10:30pm IHOP runs turn into suddenly getting home at 1am and realizing you're not tired anymore. Work tomorrow (today?) is going to be interesting...
•Least favorite Sunday of the year. I hate getting even less sleep than normal.
•How the heck have none of my friends said, "Beware the ides of March" yet today? C'mon people!
•Note to self: Always have good friends around who are good with cars.
•Smoothies and scrabble for a lunch party at work today. (I love my internship.) :-)
•Seeing some of my friends posting about registering for fall classes is weirding me out a little since this is the first time in years I'm not registering for classes. (And I'm not ever registering for classes again...)
April
•Rappelling for class is so much better than having a lecture.
•Passed the ASWB Clinical Exam! (I feel such a huge sense of relief right now.) So when I graduate in two weeks, I not only get my MSW degree, I walk across the stage as a CSW. Bam! :-)
•I'm learning so much about cars by having mine break down. At least I have friends that can educate me and then fix it.
•"The pain of loneliness, disappointment, despair, and heartache is actually carving reservoirs into your soul that will later be filled with joy."
•Just finished my last final ever and I graduate with my MSW next week. (I don't think either fact has truly hit me yet.)
•Just finished my last day at LDS Family Services. I'm going to miss working there so much!
•Dating/marriage advice from Uncle Scott: "Parts for a Corolla are easy to find... parts for a Ferrari are harder." Gotta love family get-togethers (and being graduated)!
•Aaaaaand.... cruise is booked. The Caribbean better be ready for the party Julie and I are going to bring in a month!
•Kansas City BBQ was delicious! And made even better by being with friends. Also, my grades for the last semester are in. I won't quite be graduating with the GPA I want, but I'll still be getting my MSW. I'll take it. A good night thus far, I'd say.
•Back safely in Provo after almost missing my connection and experiencing the most turbulence I've ever had in my life. My time in Kansas was way too short. But... Now I just must let the summer fun continue!
•I feel so smart watching the teen version of Jeopardy. I actually know the answers!
May
•Donated blood for the first time ever today... And I survived. Definitely got rather lightheaded and nauseous, though. Had to have a compress on my head, a fan turned on me, cold water to sip on, and a barf bag nearby just in case. Oops. Oh well.
•Got to play around on a harp today! It was so fun. :-)
•Just saw a bunch of EFY kids getting snow cones during their free time. I'm so excited to be a counselor in a few weeks! Now if only I could just learn the orientation dance. It's way more complicated than I'd like...
June
•Mexico, Belize, Honduras, Grand Cayman, and Orlando were all awesome, but I'm so excited to finally be home and in my own bed! (Though I won't be able to enjoy my own bed for long... EFY starts in just a few days!)
•Happy anniversary to my wonderful and amazing parents. I can only hope one day to have as strong and loving marriage as you two do.
•I love it when Thursday nights at EFY completely make up for all the craziness that happens during the rest of the week. And while I am excited to catch up on some sleep next week during my week off, I'm going to miss this so much.
July
•Convertibles make me so happy. :-)
•Watching fireworks from a rooftop? Yes, please!
•I'm going to miss being an EFY counselor so much. I just want to do this forever. Forget this whole getting a "real job" thing. Haha. ...But seriously.
•While I miss Team Tall Tees, I'm so excited to be with the Midwest team in Kirtland this week! It's going to be fantastic. Sad it's already my last week of EFY, though. Where has the summer gone?
•A ton of girl counselors I'm working with this week have served missions, have their mission calls, or are putting in their papers. I've also interacted with several sister missionaries at church sites we've visited this week and during our EFY service project. During this time, I've realized how much I love hearing their stories of how they decided to serve missions. So to my sister RM friends, or to my girl friends who are preparing to serve or have their calls... What's your story? I'd love to hear it! (Feel free to message it to me if it's too personal to share in a comment.)
•After two awesome days at Cedar Point, Epic Road Trip: Ohio Edition continues... as we head to Nauvoo. :-)
•Home, home, home, home, home! I have to leave in less than 43 hours again, but it's so nice to be back for this brief amount of time. (I'm especially looking forward to sleeping in my own bed for two whole nights!) :-)
August
•I can't believe EFY is over. Those six weeks were some of the craziest, hardest, most emotional, and yet most fulfilling and fun weeks of my life. Thanks to everybody who made it such a great experience!
•Note to self: a dream about forgetting about a test is just as scary when you're out of school as it was when you were in school.
•Truths affirmed this evening: 1. I am a klutz. 2. Tubing is awesome. 3. I bruise way too easily.
•Advantage of my family moving to Orange County? Being able to play at Disneyland for a day when visiting them. — at Downtown Disney.
•"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you.” —Elder Richard G. Scott ("Finding Joy in Life")
•First time since fall 1994 that school has started and I'm not there. Weird. So I instead went to the gym for the first time in three months and somehow survived the hour-long Zumba class (but man, I'm out of shape). Next up on the agenda? Cleaning. Then going out to lunch with a friend. And job searching. And TV watching. And reading. Oh, the life of an unemployed graduate.
September
•Definitely got burned at the game today. Oops. Oh well. It was worth it. :-)
•Well... That was an incredibly hard game to watch. But I'm still proud of my Cougars. Now let's come back stronger next week.
•Regional Conference was wonderful and just what I needed. I'm so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
•Looks like I'll be up in Boise for an interview next week. For those familiar with the area, any suggestions of things to see/do while up there? Keep in mind that I'll also be evaluating Boise as a place to live, so any suggestions/comments geared towards that would also be appreciated.
October
•Anybody have an extra ticket to the BYU game this weekend? My dad's coming into town and it'd be a lot of fun to have him join me!
•After lots of crying, prayer, getting the worst night's sleep since recovering from my jaw surgery over 4 years ago, and more crying and prayer... I made a major life-changing decision. I have accepted a job position Boise and Nampa (Idaho). My head is still reeling from all of this. I'm really going to miss Provo and the people in it. It's been home for over 5 years... The longest I've lived anywhere in my life. But as I move forward with this decision, I'm feeling better and better about it and I'm excited to start this next chapter of my life.
•Funny quote from yesterday: "Colette, President Eyring moved to Idaho when he didn't really want to." Thanks, Dad. I hope Idaho is as good for me as it was for him. I still have my freak-out moments about moving, but suddenly being inundated with e-mails from my new co-workers welcoming me to the team does help calm me down.
•Ok, guys. This move to Boise is really happening. Anybody in the Provo/Orem area willing to donate some boxes to the cause?
•It's my last night in Provo and my roommate is throwing me a little going-away party. It's hard for me to keep track of who's in the area and who isn't, so I can't really send out individual invites. But if you can see this, it means you're invited! Come, come, come, come, come!
•Sorry for the first snow of the year, guys. Provo is just wishing me goodbye and is in mourning.
November
•My Idaho driver's license came in the mail today. Weird. I also got a new phone number with an Idaho area code. Double weird. I guess I really am an Idaho resident now. Anyways... Let me know if you want the number!
•Cereal. The dinner of champions.
•Got my first big-girl paycheck today! Definitely exciting. Now let's not just think about how I'm now paying more in taxes than what my gross pay was in some past jobs...
•A bit of a rough weekend in some ways, but also full of many tender mercies... including being able to go to two different sessions of the rededication of the Boise temple today. I am so blessed to live so incredibly close to a House of the Lord and am so grateful that the temple is now once again dedicated so that I can go and receive the blessings waiting for me there.
•Crazy, crazy, crazy day at work. My job definitely keeps me on my toes. But I'm loving it overall, anyways. Plus, I got my business cards today! I feel so professional.
•"I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost... I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you..."... I testify that, as stated in Preach My Gospel, “as we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”" --Elder Shayne M. Bowen, “Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also”
•After 3 months, 7 visits to the DMV and countless phone calls, my car is FINALLY fully registered! Can I please cry tears of happiness now?
•Just won NaNoWriMo! Bam. It ended up being pretty fun, though my plot and characters weren't the best or most original. (But that's beside the point.) I forgot how therapeutic writing for fun can be for me. Let's hope I can keep some of this creativity up, and not just have it reappear every November. :-)
December
•Finally got up the courage to try to donate blood again and was rejected. I have to wait until the beginning of June (a year after my cruise) to donate. Let's hope I can convince myself to try again. But traveling is awesome, even when it may put you at risk for malaria.
•Just bought a space heater for my room. Best investment I've made in quite some time.
•I feel so accomplished. Passed the ASWB Masters Exam that I had to take because I moved to Idaho and finished all my Christmas shopping. And it's only 11:30! Next on the list: going to the dollar theater and Olive Garden. And just having a great day. :-)
•"Our Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and will help us as we call upon Him for assistance. I believe that no concern of ours is too small or insignificant. The Lord is in the details of our lives." -President Thomas S. Monson
•I wasn't going to make it home for dinner before FHE, so I asked my roommate to bring me an apple, so that I wouldn't starve. She decided that I also needed some protein, so she brought me some muddy buddies, too. This roommate situation is working out quite well. :-)
•I made it all last winter without falling on ice, but totally biffed it this morning (in a skirt, no less), after the first real snowfall. I think that sums up 2012 quite nicely... lots of surprises! It'll definitely be interesting to see what 2013 brings.
I saved all my Facebook statuses in a Word Document for the last year, and it was definitely fun for me to review it and remember some of the things that happened this year. Hope you enjoy it, as well.
January
•2011 was a great year overall, but I feel like 2012 is going to be my best year yet. It won't be without its challenges, for sure, but it'll be a fantastic year nonetheless. Bring. It. On.
•My body is rebelling against getting back into work and school mode.
•15 letters later... I'm finally caught up on writing missionaries! Whew!
•Just got a letter from my 12-year-old self. To whatever teacher made me do that and then kept it for 10 years before mailing it... thank you. That was one of the most hilarious things I've read in a while.
•Sometimes being a therapist is really hard.
•Won the Sunday challenge.
February
•Going to bed just after 10pm. What is WRONG with me? (Oh yeah... I'm exhausted...)
•To all those who have been asking me what I'm doing after graduation, I finally have an answer... I'm going to be an EFY counselor! (Just don't ask what I'm doing after July 21. I still have no idea.)
•Heart-shaped pizzas are cool and all... But it's kind of depressing when you have to cut them up to eat them.
•Just got surprised by one of my best friends, who I haven't seen for almost three years. Definitely made me smile. So fun!
•In honor of Fat Tuesday and giving up desserts for Lent, I am currently eating the world's second greatest gift. And then I'll finish it off with a Krispy Kreme. :-)
•The first EFY counselor training was awesome. I'm getting more and more excited for this summer!
•In case anybody was wondering, roller derbies are AWESOME!
•Just ordered my cap, gown, hood, and announcements. Maybe I will make it to graduation, after all!
•I'm allowed to get excited over my half birthday, since I only get it once every four years. (Happy half birthday to me!)
March
•Sometimes 10:30pm IHOP runs turn into suddenly getting home at 1am and realizing you're not tired anymore. Work tomorrow (today?) is going to be interesting...
•Least favorite Sunday of the year. I hate getting even less sleep than normal.
•How the heck have none of my friends said, "Beware the ides of March" yet today? C'mon people!
•Note to self: Always have good friends around who are good with cars.
•Smoothies and scrabble for a lunch party at work today. (I love my internship.) :-)
•Seeing some of my friends posting about registering for fall classes is weirding me out a little since this is the first time in years I'm not registering for classes. (And I'm not ever registering for classes again...)
April
•Rappelling for class is so much better than having a lecture.
•Passed the ASWB Clinical Exam! (I feel such a huge sense of relief right now.) So when I graduate in two weeks, I not only get my MSW degree, I walk across the stage as a CSW. Bam! :-)
•I'm learning so much about cars by having mine break down. At least I have friends that can educate me and then fix it.
•"The pain of loneliness, disappointment, despair, and heartache is actually carving reservoirs into your soul that will later be filled with joy."
•Just finished my last final ever and I graduate with my MSW next week. (I don't think either fact has truly hit me yet.)
•Just finished my last day at LDS Family Services. I'm going to miss working there so much!
•Dating/marriage advice from Uncle Scott: "Parts for a Corolla are easy to find... parts for a Ferrari are harder." Gotta love family get-togethers (and being graduated)!
•Aaaaaand.... cruise is booked. The Caribbean better be ready for the party Julie and I are going to bring in a month!
•Kansas City BBQ was delicious! And made even better by being with friends. Also, my grades for the last semester are in. I won't quite be graduating with the GPA I want, but I'll still be getting my MSW. I'll take it. A good night thus far, I'd say.
•Back safely in Provo after almost missing my connection and experiencing the most turbulence I've ever had in my life. My time in Kansas was way too short. But... Now I just must let the summer fun continue!
•I feel so smart watching the teen version of Jeopardy. I actually know the answers!
May
•Donated blood for the first time ever today... And I survived. Definitely got rather lightheaded and nauseous, though. Had to have a compress on my head, a fan turned on me, cold water to sip on, and a barf bag nearby just in case. Oops. Oh well.
•Got to play around on a harp today! It was so fun. :-)
•Just saw a bunch of EFY kids getting snow cones during their free time. I'm so excited to be a counselor in a few weeks! Now if only I could just learn the orientation dance. It's way more complicated than I'd like...
June
•Mexico, Belize, Honduras, Grand Cayman, and Orlando were all awesome, but I'm so excited to finally be home and in my own bed! (Though I won't be able to enjoy my own bed for long... EFY starts in just a few days!)
•Happy anniversary to my wonderful and amazing parents. I can only hope one day to have as strong and loving marriage as you two do.
•I love it when Thursday nights at EFY completely make up for all the craziness that happens during the rest of the week. And while I am excited to catch up on some sleep next week during my week off, I'm going to miss this so much.
July
•Convertibles make me so happy. :-)
•Watching fireworks from a rooftop? Yes, please!
•I'm going to miss being an EFY counselor so much. I just want to do this forever. Forget this whole getting a "real job" thing. Haha. ...But seriously.
•While I miss Team Tall Tees, I'm so excited to be with the Midwest team in Kirtland this week! It's going to be fantastic. Sad it's already my last week of EFY, though. Where has the summer gone?
•A ton of girl counselors I'm working with this week have served missions, have their mission calls, or are putting in their papers. I've also interacted with several sister missionaries at church sites we've visited this week and during our EFY service project. During this time, I've realized how much I love hearing their stories of how they decided to serve missions. So to my sister RM friends, or to my girl friends who are preparing to serve or have their calls... What's your story? I'd love to hear it! (Feel free to message it to me if it's too personal to share in a comment.)
•After two awesome days at Cedar Point, Epic Road Trip: Ohio Edition continues... as we head to Nauvoo. :-)
•Home, home, home, home, home! I have to leave in less than 43 hours again, but it's so nice to be back for this brief amount of time. (I'm especially looking forward to sleeping in my own bed for two whole nights!) :-)
August
•I can't believe EFY is over. Those six weeks were some of the craziest, hardest, most emotional, and yet most fulfilling and fun weeks of my life. Thanks to everybody who made it such a great experience!
•Note to self: a dream about forgetting about a test is just as scary when you're out of school as it was when you were in school.
•Truths affirmed this evening: 1. I am a klutz. 2. Tubing is awesome. 3. I bruise way too easily.
•Advantage of my family moving to Orange County? Being able to play at Disneyland for a day when visiting them. — at Downtown Disney.
•"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you.” —Elder Richard G. Scott ("Finding Joy in Life")
•First time since fall 1994 that school has started and I'm not there. Weird. So I instead went to the gym for the first time in three months and somehow survived the hour-long Zumba class (but man, I'm out of shape). Next up on the agenda? Cleaning. Then going out to lunch with a friend. And job searching. And TV watching. And reading. Oh, the life of an unemployed graduate.
September
•Definitely got burned at the game today. Oops. Oh well. It was worth it. :-)
•Well... That was an incredibly hard game to watch. But I'm still proud of my Cougars. Now let's come back stronger next week.
•Regional Conference was wonderful and just what I needed. I'm so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
•Looks like I'll be up in Boise for an interview next week. For those familiar with the area, any suggestions of things to see/do while up there? Keep in mind that I'll also be evaluating Boise as a place to live, so any suggestions/comments geared towards that would also be appreciated.
October
•Anybody have an extra ticket to the BYU game this weekend? My dad's coming into town and it'd be a lot of fun to have him join me!
•After lots of crying, prayer, getting the worst night's sleep since recovering from my jaw surgery over 4 years ago, and more crying and prayer... I made a major life-changing decision. I have accepted a job position Boise and Nampa (Idaho). My head is still reeling from all of this. I'm really going to miss Provo and the people in it. It's been home for over 5 years... The longest I've lived anywhere in my life. But as I move forward with this decision, I'm feeling better and better about it and I'm excited to start this next chapter of my life.
•Funny quote from yesterday: "Colette, President Eyring moved to Idaho when he didn't really want to." Thanks, Dad. I hope Idaho is as good for me as it was for him. I still have my freak-out moments about moving, but suddenly being inundated with e-mails from my new co-workers welcoming me to the team does help calm me down.
•Ok, guys. This move to Boise is really happening. Anybody in the Provo/Orem area willing to donate some boxes to the cause?
•It's my last night in Provo and my roommate is throwing me a little going-away party. It's hard for me to keep track of who's in the area and who isn't, so I can't really send out individual invites. But if you can see this, it means you're invited! Come, come, come, come, come!
•Sorry for the first snow of the year, guys. Provo is just wishing me goodbye and is in mourning.
November
•My Idaho driver's license came in the mail today. Weird. I also got a new phone number with an Idaho area code. Double weird. I guess I really am an Idaho resident now. Anyways... Let me know if you want the number!
•Cereal. The dinner of champions.
•Got my first big-girl paycheck today! Definitely exciting. Now let's not just think about how I'm now paying more in taxes than what my gross pay was in some past jobs...
•A bit of a rough weekend in some ways, but also full of many tender mercies... including being able to go to two different sessions of the rededication of the Boise temple today. I am so blessed to live so incredibly close to a House of the Lord and am so grateful that the temple is now once again dedicated so that I can go and receive the blessings waiting for me there.
•Crazy, crazy, crazy day at work. My job definitely keeps me on my toes. But I'm loving it overall, anyways. Plus, I got my business cards today! I feel so professional.
•"I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost... I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you..."... I testify that, as stated in Preach My Gospel, “as we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”" --Elder Shayne M. Bowen, “Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also”
•After 3 months, 7 visits to the DMV and countless phone calls, my car is FINALLY fully registered! Can I please cry tears of happiness now?
•Just won NaNoWriMo! Bam. It ended up being pretty fun, though my plot and characters weren't the best or most original. (But that's beside the point.) I forgot how therapeutic writing for fun can be for me. Let's hope I can keep some of this creativity up, and not just have it reappear every November. :-)
December
•Finally got up the courage to try to donate blood again and was rejected. I have to wait until the beginning of June (a year after my cruise) to donate. Let's hope I can convince myself to try again. But traveling is awesome, even when it may put you at risk for malaria.
•Just bought a space heater for my room. Best investment I've made in quite some time.
•I feel so accomplished. Passed the ASWB Masters Exam that I had to take because I moved to Idaho and finished all my Christmas shopping. And it's only 11:30! Next on the list: going to the dollar theater and Olive Garden. And just having a great day. :-)
•"Our Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and will help us as we call upon Him for assistance. I believe that no concern of ours is too small or insignificant. The Lord is in the details of our lives." -President Thomas S. Monson
•I wasn't going to make it home for dinner before FHE, so I asked my roommate to bring me an apple, so that I wouldn't starve. She decided that I also needed some protein, so she brought me some muddy buddies, too. This roommate situation is working out quite well. :-)
•I made it all last winter without falling on ice, but totally biffed it this morning (in a skirt, no less), after the first real snowfall. I think that sums up 2012 quite nicely... lots of surprises! It'll definitely be interesting to see what 2013 brings.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
More 101 List Accomplishments
It's been a while since I updated my blog about how my 101 list is going. And I've actually accomplished a few more of my goals!
Find a job I love
Maybe love is a bit excessive. But I am enjoying my job and so I'm counting it as done, especially since I don't see myself leaving it for quite some time. My job is not without its ups and downs and joys and frustrations... but what job where you work with people isn't like that? It's definitely rewarding, though. And I love the people that I work with.
Read every article in each copy of the Ensign for a year
Very uplifting goal that I'm happy I accomplished. I need to continue with reading at least some of the articles each month. But I should probably read the whole thing each month, when I can...there are sometimes hidden gems in there that I would have missed out on, if I hadn't actually read the whole magazine each month.
Go on at least one date a month for a year
This was hard. I almost gave up completing it several different times, including almost not going on a date in December. But, with my dad's help, I was able to go on a blind date yesterday and was able to pull it off. So now that's done. Some of the dates were a blast, some weren't so great. But at least I can say that I did it. I don't plan on asking anybody on any dates any time soon, which means I likely won't be dating at all any time soon. And for now, I'm okay with that. Though I do need to still go on at least one more date to accomplish another one of my 101 goals. But I'm definitely not putting any pressure on myself to work on that goal right now.
Start an IRA
This was pretty easy once I started my job, since I was able to easily set one up with them and even get it taken out of my paycheck each month. Yay for saving money easily!
Go to an away BYU football or basketball game
This one was a blast. My dad and I went to the Poinsettia Bowl that BYU played (and beat SDSU) in. It was better than I expected this goal to go. I thought I'd just go to some low-key game. But it was a blast being surrounded with a bunch of other BYU fans in a huge stadium, especially when BYU did pull off a win.
Find a job I love
Maybe love is a bit excessive. But I am enjoying my job and so I'm counting it as done, especially since I don't see myself leaving it for quite some time. My job is not without its ups and downs and joys and frustrations... but what job where you work with people isn't like that? It's definitely rewarding, though. And I love the people that I work with.
Read every article in each copy of the Ensign for a year
Very uplifting goal that I'm happy I accomplished. I need to continue with reading at least some of the articles each month. But I should probably read the whole thing each month, when I can...there are sometimes hidden gems in there that I would have missed out on, if I hadn't actually read the whole magazine each month.
Go on at least one date a month for a year
This was hard. I almost gave up completing it several different times, including almost not going on a date in December. But, with my dad's help, I was able to go on a blind date yesterday and was able to pull it off. So now that's done. Some of the dates were a blast, some weren't so great. But at least I can say that I did it. I don't plan on asking anybody on any dates any time soon, which means I likely won't be dating at all any time soon. And for now, I'm okay with that. Though I do need to still go on at least one more date to accomplish another one of my 101 goals. But I'm definitely not putting any pressure on myself to work on that goal right now.
Start an IRA
This was pretty easy once I started my job, since I was able to easily set one up with them and even get it taken out of my paycheck each month. Yay for saving money easily!
Go to an away BYU football or basketball game
This one was a blast. My dad and I went to the Poinsettia Bowl that BYU played (and beat SDSU) in. It was better than I expected this goal to go. I thought I'd just go to some low-key game. But it was a blast being surrounded with a bunch of other BYU fans in a huge stadium, especially when BYU did pull off a win.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
NaNoWriMo
I put "completing NaNoWriMo" on my 101 list. When most people hear about NaNoWriMo, they just ask, "Uh... what?" And then I have to go on and clarify what NaNoWriMo is. (And some people still think I'm crazy after the explanation.)
NaNoWriMo (or National Novel Writing Month) is a challenge in the month of November to write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days. This averages out to be 1667 words a day to reach the goal. Quite a bit of writing, and it can definitely be a bit intimidating. But I did it!
I know my novel wasn't anything special, especially considering the fact that I officially decided to participate on October 31 and had no real plan or outline going into it. However, it was really fun to just be a bit creative in my free time. I forgot how therapeutic writing can be for me. I was able to actually work out some personal issues, in a way. Amazing how just writing can do that. And it's so liberating to just ignore your inner editor for a while, because you need to get your word count. (Sometimes, it does become more about quantity than quality.) It doesn't matter if what you write doesn't make complete sense. It doesn't matter if you have the perfect phrase to describe everything. It doesn't matter if the characters aren't completely fleshed out. As some NaNoWriMo participants have been known to say, "December (and beyond) is for editing." I'm not entirely sure how much editing I'll ever end up doing, since I don't really have plans to publish it. But maybe. We'll see. And I'm already considering doing it again next year. Maybe with more of a plan.
But for now, I'll just be proud of this win. I mean, how many people can say they've written a novel? It was always something I wanted to be able to say, and now I can! It feels so great to set goals and achieve them.
NaNoWriMo (or National Novel Writing Month) is a challenge in the month of November to write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days. This averages out to be 1667 words a day to reach the goal. Quite a bit of writing, and it can definitely be a bit intimidating. But I did it!
I know my novel wasn't anything special, especially considering the fact that I officially decided to participate on October 31 and had no real plan or outline going into it. However, it was really fun to just be a bit creative in my free time. I forgot how therapeutic writing can be for me. I was able to actually work out some personal issues, in a way. Amazing how just writing can do that. And it's so liberating to just ignore your inner editor for a while, because you need to get your word count. (Sometimes, it does become more about quantity than quality.) It doesn't matter if what you write doesn't make complete sense. It doesn't matter if you have the perfect phrase to describe everything. It doesn't matter if the characters aren't completely fleshed out. As some NaNoWriMo participants have been known to say, "December (and beyond) is for editing." I'm not entirely sure how much editing I'll ever end up doing, since I don't really have plans to publish it. But maybe. We'll see. And I'm already considering doing it again next year. Maybe with more of a plan.
But for now, I'll just be proud of this win. I mean, how many people can say they've written a novel? It was always something I wanted to be able to say, and now I can! It feels so great to set goals and achieve them.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sleep-related 101 List Things
I had a couple of sleep-related goals on my 101 list, and I completed both of them this week. They were to be in bed before midnight for a week and to get up right when my alarm goes off for a week.
These may not seem like a big deal, but for those who don't know, I'm a night owl. I definitely tend to stay up past midnight. And this leads to me not being much of a morning person, so I don't get up immediately. But it was a good idea to start my full-time job being more rested. And actually getting to bed at a semi-reasonable time (even though there were a few nights I slipped into bed just a bit before midnight) helped me to get up when my alarm went off. Amazing how that works. I should probably try to keep doing this. Sleep is important, and work has really been wearing me out... though I really have been enjoying my new job.
In other news, I decided to attempt to win NaNoWriMo. I wasn't going to tell anybody originally since I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to complete it and I hate feeling like I've failed or let people down. But apparently, though I'm great at keeping other people's secrets, I struggle to keep my own sometimes. Anyways, I decided to do NaNoWriMo, since in order to do it for my 101 list, I have to do it either this November or next November... and who knows what next November may bring. It hasn't been too hard so far, but I know it will likely get harder, since I don't exactly have much of a plan with it. I mean, I decided to do it on October 31, so I didn't have much of an outline going into it. And it's probably not the best idea to do NaNoWriMo right now, as I'm busy trying to learn a new job, make new friends, and learn a new area, but it's actually been kind of fun to let my creativity flow for a bit each day. We'll just have to see how it goes!
These may not seem like a big deal, but for those who don't know, I'm a night owl. I definitely tend to stay up past midnight. And this leads to me not being much of a morning person, so I don't get up immediately. But it was a good idea to start my full-time job being more rested. And actually getting to bed at a semi-reasonable time (even though there were a few nights I slipped into bed just a bit before midnight) helped me to get up when my alarm went off. Amazing how that works. I should probably try to keep doing this. Sleep is important, and work has really been wearing me out... though I really have been enjoying my new job.
In other news, I decided to attempt to win NaNoWriMo. I wasn't going to tell anybody originally since I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to complete it and I hate feeling like I've failed or let people down. But apparently, though I'm great at keeping other people's secrets, I struggle to keep my own sometimes. Anyways, I decided to do NaNoWriMo, since in order to do it for my 101 list, I have to do it either this November or next November... and who knows what next November may bring. It hasn't been too hard so far, but I know it will likely get harder, since I don't exactly have much of a plan with it. I mean, I decided to do it on October 31, so I didn't have much of an outline going into it. And it's probably not the best idea to do NaNoWriMo right now, as I'm busy trying to learn a new job, make new friends, and learn a new area, but it's actually been kind of fun to let my creativity flow for a bit each day. We'll just have to see how it goes!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Some Restaurant-related 101 Things and the Move
I was able to check off a couple more things from my 101 list. I finished trying 20 new restaurants (I actually surpassed that, too... I kind of like trying new places.) And I left a 100% tip at another restaurant.
I'm now moved and pretty settled into my room that I'm renting in a house. (Yes, I did end up finding a place to live, despite my kind of freak out in my last post.) I think I'll like it. I know it's where I'm supposed to be, but that doesn't necessarily make it easy. Having to essentially start over is hard. A big part of me just wants to be back in Provo, even though I know that isn't home anymore.
Things change so fast. Boise wasn't even on my radar screen a little over a month ago. And now I'm here for the foreseeable future. And I start my new job tomorrow.
This still feels a bit surreal. But I'm going to make it work. I have to.
I'm now moved and pretty settled into my room that I'm renting in a house. (Yes, I did end up finding a place to live, despite my kind of freak out in my last post.) I think I'll like it. I know it's where I'm supposed to be, but that doesn't necessarily make it easy. Having to essentially start over is hard. A big part of me just wants to be back in Provo, even though I know that isn't home anymore.
Things change so fast. Boise wasn't even on my radar screen a little over a month ago. And now I'm here for the foreseeable future. And I start my new job tomorrow.
This still feels a bit surreal. But I'm going to make it work. I have to.
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