I didn't tell a lot of people about it because I was scared I wouldn't pass and I didn't think I could face telling a bunch of people that I had failed. (More people did end up knowing then I had anticipated telling, though... I guess I sometimes have a big mouth when it comes to keeping my own secrets.)
But... I passed! (I don't think I can really describe what a huge relief that was.)
Once I found out that I did pass, I wanted to tell everyone! I literally spent a half hour in the parking lot of the testing center calling, texting, Facebooking, and e-mailing family and friends to let them know the good news. I then went in to work and told my coworkers.
Everyone was so incredibly supportive. Lots of texts and Facebook comments and high fives and congrats. And it seems silly, but it was just so nice to know that people care. And that people want to share in my joy.
You know that proverb that goes something like, "Grief shared is grief divided, joy shared is joy multiplied"? It's so true. I've been keeping a lot of my recent grief and things that have been going on to myself... partially because I've kind of had to with certain situations and partially because I didn't feel comfortable sharing. And it's been SOOO hard. I honestly think that's part of the reason that I've been struggling so much... I essentially cut myself off from some people so I didn't have to share. I was trying to hold all the grief by myself instead of letting it get divided. But by opening up with this joy, it really has been multiplied.
Basically... I need to be vulnerable. I need to open up. To connect. To allow grief to be divided and joys to be multiplied.
Because multiplying this joy was AWESOME.
(Also... my roommates wrote me these encouraging messages on the bathroom mirror this morning so I could read them before I left to take the test. And my parents sent me an Edible Arrangement to congratulate me for passing the exam. How awesome are they?)
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